Family Dinners

The baby of the family has left the nest.

She is in her first year at Tulane University and having the time of her life.

Her momma on the other hand is having a much harder time with the new “nest configuration” than I ever thought possible.

It’s too quiet.

It’s too clean.

But most of all the FAMILY DINNERS just aren’t the same.

Our family dinners include so many who are not technically “family” but have became family as we have gathered around the table and shared a meal, a laugh, an invigorating conversation, and sometimes even a tear or two.

Now the many kids who were always walking in and out of the kitchen with Elisabeth are gone to pursue their new adventures and their new lives. The quite and stillness has been almost deafening and very sad at times.

It is painful to have such an empty house. I still cook as if we will have numerous guests on any given day. As I put the leftovers away after each meal it is a painful reminder that I need to learn how to prepare much smaller meals. My 23 year old son is aware of this and my struggle as he has now started coming to dinner more often with his girlfriend. On those nights it’s not so empty and the smiles are numerous but the house is still missing the chaos and chatter of numerous young adults that always seemed to end up in my kitchen over the years asking, “What’s for dinner momma Lisa”.

My baby grew up too fast and suddenly our table is very empty.

Ever since I received my EasyBake Oven waaaaay back in the 70’s I have loved the magic of preparing a meal and (to the disadvantage of my now slowing metabolism and waistline) consuming the feast I prepared. I made so many tiny cakes by the magic of that light bulb oven. I loved learning more recipes and techniques as my cooking skills progressed past my Easybake Oven repertoire. As I grew so did my desire to cook and try new recipes and test them on my family and friends.

To me cooking meant family and memories of my Grandmother Mildred Reimans’ amazing creations. Cooking meant – I care about you and I want to show you how much by making a meal you will love 💙

Family dinners progressed from a nervous young wife making chicken-n-dumplings for the first time to me feeding 80 people plus at one of our parties. With the years my confidence in the kitchen grew and a nervous young cook was replaced with a feisty woman who would go to restaurants and say, “I can totally make this better at home”.

I would try and try again. I loved learning.

I loved preparing.

I loved everything culinary.

My family and my ability to confidently prepare meals grew and my kitchen was MY happy place. It was where everything happened and where the core of my life was and will ALWAYS be (until I can not cook anymore and I’m moved to an assisted living community where I will terrorize the pool boy).

So you see, for me the idea of family dinners is basically my EVERYTHING and I can remember a significant life event by WHAT I prepared for that celebration.

There are family dinners that marked milestones and special occasions.

So many Birthdays

Easter dinners

Baptisms

Graduations

Christmas meals for our Budslick Management family and of course Christmas Day

I was accepted to Grad School

The kids would win a big game

A big business deal would go through

My parents celebrating another Anniversary

My husband winning his election to city council

My family visiting for vacation and a late beach day leading to a Publix run late at night and a midnight dinner full of memories and laughter.

Or any given event when friends and family would get together and just be present in our life.

We moved to Florida and in no time at all new faces became familiar in my kitchen.

I am proud to say that all four Homecoming dances and three Proms for my daughter consisted of parents and kids gathered at our house for a meal and photos.

Soooooo many memories.

Some dinners were not light and happy but just the opposite.

Family dinners also heal wounds that hurt too much to conquer alone.

The death of both my husbands parents.

The death of my father.

When my sister passed away we all somehow ended up at my house.

It was not planned, the funeral and the wake had been earlier in the day with loving food made by my sister’s church family and friends. But many hours later we all found ourselves in my kitchen. I was too defeated to cook that day but takeout worked just fine as we all sat together feeling the same pain and loss. We went through photos that had long ago been stuffed away. We laughed, we cussed like pirates, we cried, we were there for each other.

Sitting around the table in Illinois with my family and my best friend it was all more palatable then it had been when sitting there alone just a few hours ago.

We all needed each other and it is a memory I will cherish. As we smiled through tears I suddenly remembered that when we had evacuated Florida due to hurricane Irma and came back to Illinois I had brought a few (ok so maybe it was more like six) bottles of my FAVORITE Siesta Key Rum with me (because the hurricane had the potential of taking away our Florida home but by God it would NOT take my Toasted Coconut Rum).

We had rum and pizza that evening and let me tell you the rum FAR outweighed the pizza but it was a family dinner and that family dinner helped us all heal.

I love to cook. I love the smell of dinner being prepared as it seeps into every room of the house. I love all things culinary and can’t wait for the holidays to try some new dishes out on my family in Illinois.

But if YOU do not enjoy those things you can still gather around your table and make memories….. just take a pause and sit with the ones that you love. Delivery and takeout can be absolutely blissful at your kitchen table.

The other day my dear friend Shannon and I went out for a girls beach day. Shannon is an amazing cook and she volunteered to help me host the cheer Christmas party for our girls their Freshmen year in high school not long after we had moved to Florida. We cooked from Eight AM until Six PM that day. We did the full holiday dinner. We prepared turkey, dressing, ham, chicken-n-dumplings, and numerous sides and desserts.

I still laugh at the way we bonded over food.

As we reminisced about the past we both choked up at the sunny beach when she said, “I would give ANYTHING to go back to that day”.

When our girls were young and we just didn’t know how fleeting it really would be.

I can not listen to Miranda Lambert’s “The House that Built Me” right now. I have too many emotions and before the beautiful song even gets to the part in the verse where she sings, “I bet you didn’t know, under that live Oak, my favorite dog is buried in the yard”, I am an ugly crying mess. I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME!!

Family and memories are getting me more in the “feeIs” as I am approaching the last year in my 40’s. It took me over three and a half months to finish this post because I did not realize just how hard the all too quiet and smaller FAMILY DINNERS would be for me. It hit me like a sucker punch to the gut so much harder than I ever thought possible (you know ’cause I’m sooooo tough 😉)

Sit down at the table with the people who make you smile.

The people who make you happy.

The people who make it ALL worthwhile.

Sit down and make memories. Cook all day or have it delivered in an instant but sit down, turn off your phone, talk, laugh, or cry but make some memories because memories unite people deeply and those memories can get you through some tough times as you smile at what once was…..

I spilled the tea on why I took such a long hiatus in regards to my writing and I now I can acknowledge that it is OK to feel sad sometimes. It is OK to pause and reflect because it makes you appreciate the good times that we can take for granted. Now I know with all my heart that each day gives us new opportunities to expand our FAMILY DINNERS.

We have made new friends and met some amazing people with our visits to Tulane and I love that as Elisabeth’s circle expands so does ours. It’s all about the people you meet and the life that expands and grows through change.

Let’s toast Family Dinners 🥂

In fact, let’s toast Family Dinners of all kinds…

Our friends

Our people

Our tribe

Wherever you end up, find those people and surround yourself with them.

Good food

Good people

Family Dinners